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re as strong as he。 Near to it； at least。 She had just been rudely disabused。 Perhaps Nynaeve could e close； if she was angry enough； but Egwene knew she herself could never have done what he just had； split her flows that many ways； worked that many things at once。 Working two flows at once was far more than twice as hard as working one of the same magnitude； and working three much more than twice again working two。 He had to have been weaving a dozen。 He did not even look tired； yet exertion with the Power took energy。 She very much feared he could handle her and Elayne both like kittens。 Kittens he might decide to drown； if he went mad。
But she would not； could not； just walk away。 That would be the same as quitting； and she was not made that way。 She meant to do what she had e there for … all of it … and he was not going to chase her off short of it。 Not him or anything else。
Elayne's blue eyes were filled with determination； and the moment Egwene fell silent she added in a much firmer voice； 〃And we will not go until we are。 You said you would try。 You must try。〃
〃I did say that； didn't I？〃 he murmured after a time。 〃At least we can sit down。〃
Not looking at the blackened tables or the band of metallic cloth lying crumpled on the carpet； he led them； limping slightly； to high…backed chairs near the windows。 They had to move books from the red silk cushions in order to sit； Egwene's chair held Volume Twelve of The Treasures of the Stone of Tear； a dusty； wood…bound book entitled Travels in the Aiel Waste； with Various Observations on the Savage Inhabitants； and a thick； tattered leather volume called Dealings with the Territory of Mayene； 500 to 750 of the New Era。 Elayne had a bigger stack to move； but Rand hurriedly took them from her along with those from his chair and put them all on the floor； where the pile promptly fell over。 Egwene laid hers neatly beside them。
〃What do you want me to do now？〃 He sat on the edge of his seat； hands on his knees。 〃I promise I won't do anything but what you ask this time。〃
Egwene bit her tongue to keep from telling him that promise came a bit late。 Perhaps she had been a little vague in what she had asked for； but that was no excuse。 Still； that was something to be dealt with another time。 She realized she was thinking of him as just Rand again； but he looked as if he had just splashed mud on her best dress and was worried she would not believe it an accident。 Yet she had not let go of saidar； and neither had Elayne。 There was no need to be foolish。 〃This time；〃 she said； 〃we just want you to talk。 How do you embrace the Source？ Just tell us。 Take it step by step； slowly。〃
〃More like wrestling than embracing。〃 He grunted。 〃Step by step？ Well； first I imagine a flame； and then I push everything into it。 Hate； fear； nervousness。 Everything。 When they're all consumed； there's an emptiness； a void； inside my head。 I am in the middle of it； but I'm a part of whatever I am concentrating on； too。〃
〃That sounds familiar；〃 Egwene said。 〃I've heard your father talk about a trick of concentration he uses to win the archery petitions。 What he calls the Flame and the Void。〃
Rand nodded； sadly； it seemed。 She thought he must be missing home； and his father。 〃Tam taught it to me first。 And Lan uses it； too； with the sword。 Selene … someone I met once … called it the Oneness。 A good many people seem to know about it； whatever they call it。 But I found out for myself that when I was inside the void； I could feel saidin； like a light just beyond the corner of my eye in the emptiness。 There's nothing but me and that light。 Emotion； even thought； is outside。 I used to have to take it bit by bit； but it all es at once； now。 Most of it does； anyway。 Most of the time。〃
〃Emptiness；〃 Elayne said with a shiver。 〃No emotion。 That doesn't sound very much like what we do。〃
〃Yes； it does；〃 Egwene insisted eagerly。 〃Rand； we just do it a little differently； that's all。 I imagine myself to be a flower； a rosebud； imagine it until I am the rosebud。 That is like your void； in a way。 The rosebud's petals open out to the light of saidar； and I let it fill me； all light and warmth and life and wonder。 I surrender to it； and by surrendering； I control it。 That was the hardest part； to learn； really； how to master saidar by submitting； but it seems so natural now that I do not even think about it。 That is the key to it； Rand。 I am sure。 You must learn to surrender …〃 He was shaking his head vigorously。
〃That's nothing like what I do；〃 he protested。 〃Let it fill me？ I have to reach out and take hold of saidin。 Sometimes there's still nothing there when I do； nothing I can touch； but if I didn't reach for it； I could stand there forever and nothing would happen。 It fills me all right； once I take hold； but surrender to it？〃 He raked his fingers through his hair。 〃Egwene； if I surrendered … even for a minute … saidin would consume me。 It's like a river of molten metal； an ocean of fire； all the light of the sun gathered in one spot。 I must fight it to make it do what I want； fight it to keep from being eaten up。〃
He sighed。 〃I know what you mean about life filling you； though； even with the taint turning my stomach。 Colors are sharper； smells clearer。 Everything is more real； somehow。 I don't want to let go； once I have it； even while it's trying to swallow me。 But the rest。。。。 Face the facts； Egwene。 The Tower is right about this。 Accept it for the truth； because it is。〃
She shook her head。 〃I will accept it when it is proved to me。〃 She did not sound as sure as she wanted to； not as sure she had been。 What he told sounded like some twisted half…reflection of what she did； similarities only emphasizing differences。 Yet there were similarities。 She would not give up。 〃Can you tell the flows apart？ Air； Water； Spirit； Earth； Fire？〃
〃Sometimes；〃 he said slowly。 〃Not usually。 I just take what I need to do what I want。 Fumble for it； mostly。 It's very strange。 Sometimes I need to do a thing； and I do it； but only afterward do I know what it was I did； or how。 It's almost like remembering something I've forgotten。 But I can remember how to do it again。 Most of the time。〃
〃Yet you do remember how；〃 she insisted。 〃How did you set fire to those tables？〃 She wanted to ask him how he had made them dance … she thought she saw a way； with Air and Water … but she wanted to start with something simple； lighting a candle and putting it out were things a novice could do。
Rand's face took on a pained expression。 〃I don't know。〃 He sounded embarrassed。 〃When I want fire； for a lamp or a fireplace； I just make it； but I do not know how。 I don't really need to think to do things with fire。〃
That almost stood to reason。 Of the Five Powers； Fire and Earth had been strongest in men in the Age of Legends； and Air and Water in women； Spirit had been shared equally。 Egwene hardly had to think to use Air or Water； once she had learned to do a thing in the first place。 But the thought did not further their purpose。
This time it was Elayne who pressed him。 〃Do you know how you extinguished them？ You seemed to think before they went out。〃
〃That I do remember； because I don't believe I have ever done it before。 I took in the heat from the tables and spread it into the stone of the fireplace； a fireplace wouldn't even notice that much heat。〃
Elayne gasped； unconsciously cradling her left arm for a moment； and Egwene winced in sympathy。 She remembered when that arm had been a mass of blisters because the Daughter…Heir had done what Rand had just described； and with just the lamp in her room。 Sheriam had threatened to let the blisters heal by themselves； she had not done it； but she had threatened。 It was one of the warnings novices were given； never draw heat in。 A flame could be extinguished using Air or Water； but using Fire to pull the heat away meant disaster with a flame of any size。 It was not a matter of strength； so Sheriam had said； heat once taken in could not be gotten rid of； not by the strongest woman ever to e out of the White Tower。 Women had actually burst into flame themselves that wa