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urpose。 Neither vengeance nor an unburied death in the Blight will do。〃
〃And do you foresee your death ing soon？〃 His voice was quiet； his face expressionless； both like stone in a dead winter blizzard。 It was a manner she had seen in him many times； usually when he was on the point of violence。 〃Have you planned something； without me； that will see you dead？〃
〃I am suddenly glad there is no pond in this room；〃 she murmured； then raised her hands when he stiffened； offended at her light tone。 〃I see my death in every day； as you do。 How could I not； with the task we have followed these years？ Now； with everything ing to a head； I must see it as even more possible。〃
For a moment he studied his hands； large and square。 〃I had never thought；〃 he said slowly； 〃that I might not be the first of us to die。 Somehow； even at the worst； it always seemed 。。。〃 Abruptly he scrubbed his hands against each other。 〃If there is a chance I might be given like a pet lapdog； I would at least like to know to whom I am being given。〃
〃I have never seen you as a pet；〃 Moiraine said sharply； 〃and neither does Myrelle。〃
〃Myrelle。〃 He grimaced。 〃Yes； she would have to be Green； or else some slip of a girl just raised to full sisterhood。〃
〃If Myrelle can keep her three Gaidin in line； perhaps she has a chance to manage you。 Though she would like to keep you； I know； she has promised to pass your bond to another when she finds one who suits you better。〃
〃So。 Not a pet but a parcel。 Myrelle is to be a … a caretaker！ Moiraine； not even the Greens treat their Warders so。 No Aes Sedai has passed her Warder's bond to another in four hundred years； but you intend to do it to me not once； but twice！〃
〃It is done； and I will not undo it。〃
〃The Light blind me； if I am to be passed from hand to hand； do you at least have some idea in whose hand I will end？〃
〃What I do is for your own good； and perhaps it may be for another's； as well。 It may be that Myrelle will find a slip of a girl just raised to sisterhood … was that not what you said？ … who needs a Warder hardened in battle and wise in the ways of the world； a slip of a girl who may need someone who will throw her into a pond。 You have much to offer； Lan； and to see it wasted in an unmarked grave； or left to the ravens； when it could go to a woman who needs it would be worse than the sin of which the Whitecloaks prate。 Yes； I think she will have need of you。〃
Lan's eyes widened slightly； for him it was the same as another man gasping in shocked surmise。 She had seldom seen him so off balance。 He opened his mouth twice before he spoke。 〃And who do you have in mind for this … 〃
She cut him off。 〃Are you sure the bond does not chafe； Lan Gaidin？ Do you realize for the first time； only now； the strength of that bond； the depth of it？ You could end with some budding White； all logic and no heart； or with a young Brown who sees you as nothing more than a pair of hands to carry her books and sketches。 I can hand you where I will； like a parcel … or a lapdog … and you can do no more than go。 Are you sure it does not chafe？〃
〃Is that what this has been for？〃 he grated。 His eyes burned like blue fire； and his mouth twisted。 Anger； for the first time ever that she had seen； open anger etched his face。 〃Has all this talk been a test … a test！ … to see if you could make my bond rub？ After all this time？ From the day I pledged to you； I have ridden where you said ride； even when I thought it foolish； even when I had reason to ride another way。 Never did you need my bond to force me。 On your word I have watched you walk into danger and kept my hands at my sides when I wanted nothing more than to out sword and carve a path to safety for you。 After this； you test me？〃
〃Not a test； Lan。 I spoke plainly； not twisting； and I have done as I said。 But at Fal Dara； I began to wonder if you were still wholly with me。〃 A wariness entered his eyes。 Lan； forgive me。 I would not have cracked the walls you hold so hard； but I must know。 〃Why did you do as you did with Rand？〃 He blinked； it was obviously not what he expected。 She knew what he had thought was ing； and she would not let up now that he was off balance。 〃You brought him to the Amyrlin speaking and acting as a Border lord and a soldier born。 It fit； in a way； with what I planned for him； but you and I never spoke of teaching him any of that。 Why； Lan？〃
〃It seemed 。。。 right。 A young wolfhound must meet his first wolf someday； but if the wolf sees him as a puppy； if he acts the puppy； the wolf will surely kill him。 The wolfhound must be a wolfhound in the wolf's eyes even more than in his own； if he is to survive。〃
〃Is that how you see Aes Sedai？ The Amyrlin？ Me？ Wolves out to pull down your young wolfhound？〃 Lan shook his head。 〃You know what he is； Lan。 You know what he must bee。 Must。 What I have worked for since the day you and I met； and before。 Do you now doubt what I do？〃
〃No。 No； but 。。。〃 He was recovering himself； building his walls again。 But they were not rebuilt yet。 〃How many times have you said that ta'veren pull those around them like twigs in a whirlpool？ Perhaps I was pulled； too。 I only know that it felt right。 Those farm folk needed someone on their side。 Rand did； at least。 Moiraine； I believe in what you do； even as now； when I know not half of it； believe as I believe in you。 I have not asked to be released from my bond； nor will I。 Whatever your plans for dying and seeing me safely … disposed of … I will take great pleasure in keeping you alive and seeing those plans； at least； go for nothing。〃
〃Ta'veren；〃 Moiraine sighed。 〃Perhaps it was that。 Rather than guiding a chip floating down a stream； I am trying to guide a log through rapids。 Every time I push at it； it pushes at me； and the log grows larger the farther we go。 Yet I must see it through to the end。〃 She gave a little laugh。 〃I will not be unhappy； my old friend； if you manage to put those plans awry。 Now； please leave me。 I need to be alone to think。〃 He hesitated only a moment before turning for the door。 At the last moment； though； she could not let him go without one more question。 〃Do you ever dream of something different； Lan？〃
〃All men dream。 But I know dreams for dreams。 This〃 … he touched his sword hilt … 〃is reality。〃 The walls were back； as high and hard as ever。
For a time after he left； Moiraine leaned back in her chair； looking into the fire。 She thought of Nynaeve and cracks in a wall。 Without trying； without thinking what she was doing； that young woman had put cracks in Lan's walls and seeded the cracks with creepers。 Lan thought he was secure； imprisoned in his fortress by fate and his own wishes； but slowly； patiently； the creepers were tearing down the walls to bare the man within。 Already he was sharing some of Nynaeve's loyalties； in the beginning he had been indifferent to the Emond's Field folk； except as people in whom Moiraine had some interest。 Nynaeve had changed that as she had changed Lan。
To her surprise； Moiraine felt a flash of jealousy。 She had never felt that before； certainly not for any of the women who had thrown their hearts at his feet； or those who had shared his bed。 Indeed； she had never thought of him as an object of jealousy； had never thought so of any man。 She was married to her battle； as he was married to his。 But they had been panions in those battles for so long。 He had ridden a horse to death； then run himself nearly to death； carrying her in his arms at the last； to Anaiya for Healing。 She had tended his wounds more than once； keeping with her arts a life he had been ready to throw away to save hers。 He had always said he was wedded with death。 Now a new bride had captured his eyes； though he was blind to it。 He thought he still stood strong behind his walls； but Nynaeve had laced bridal flowers in his hair。 Would he still find himself able to court death so blithely？ Moiraine wondered when he would ask her to release him from his bond。 And what she would do when he did。
With a grimace； she got to her feet。 There were more important matters。 Far more important。 Her eyes ran over the