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common warriors are driv… en forward like a herd of antelopes to face the
foe。 It is on account of this manner of fightingfrom compulsion and not
from personal braverythat we count no coup on them。 A lone warrior
can do much harm to a large army of them in a bad country。〃
It was this talk with my uncle that gave me my first clear idea of the
white man。
I was almost fifteen years old when my uncle
First Impressions of Civilization 285
presented me with a flint…lock gun。 The posses… sion of the
〃mysterious iron；〃 and the explosive dirt； or 〃pulverized coal；〃 as it is
called； filled me with new thoughts。 All the war…songs that I had ever
heard from childhood came back to me with their heroes。 It seemed as if
I were an entirely new beingthe boy had become a man！
〃I am now old enough；〃 said I to myself； 〃and I must beg my uncle to
take me with him on his next war…path。 I shall soon be able to go among
the whites whenever I wish； and to avenge the blood of my father and my
brothers。〃
I had already begun to invoke the blessing of the Great Mystery。
Scarcely a day passed that I did not offer up some of my game； so that he
might not be displeased with me。 My people saw very little of me during
the day； for in solitude I found the strength I needed。 I groped about in
the wilderness； and determined to assume my po… sition as a man。 My
boyish ways were depart… ing； and a sullen dignity and composure was
taking their place。
The thought of love did not hinder my ambi… tions。 I had a vague
dream of some day courting a pretty maiden； after I had made my
reputation； and won the eagle feathers。
One day； when I was away on the daily hunt； two strangers from the
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United States visited our camp。 They had boldly ventured across the
northern border。 They were Indians； but clad in the white man's garments。
It was as well that I was absent with my gun。
My father； accompanied by an Indian guide； after many days'
searching had found us at last。 He had been imprisoned at Davenport；
Iowa； with those who took part in the massacre or in the bat… tles
following； and he was taught in prison and converted by the pioneer
missionaries； Drs。 Wil… liamson and Riggs。 He was under sentence of
death； but was among the number against whom no direct evidence was
found； and who were finally pardoned by President Lincoln。
When he was released； and returned to the new reservation upon the
Missouri river； he soon be… came convinced that life on a government
reserva… tion meant physical and moral degradation。 There… fore he
determined； with several others； to try the white man's way of gaining a
livelihood。 They ac… cordingly left the agency against the persuasions of
the agent； renounced all government assistance； and took land under the
United States Homestead law； on the Big Sioux river。 After he had made
his home there； he desired to seek his lost child。 It was then a dangerous
undertaking to cross the
First Impressions of Civilization 287
line； but his Christian love prompted him to do it。 He secured a good
guide； and found his way in time through the vast wilderness。
As for me； I little dreamed of anything un… usual to happen on my
return。 As I approached our camp with my game on my shoulder； I had
not the slightest premonition that I was suddenly to be hurled from my
savage life into a life un… known to me hitherto。
When I appeared in sight my father； who had patiently listened to my
uncle's long account of my early life and training； became very much ex…
cited。 He was eager to embrace the child who； as he had just been
informed； made it already the object of his life to avenge his father's blood。
The loving father could not remain in the teepee and watch the boy
coming； so he started to meet him。 My uncle arose to go with his brother
to insure his safety。
My face burned with the unusual excitement caused by the sight of a
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man wearing the Big Knives' clothing and coming toward me with my
uncle。
〃What does this mean； uncle？〃
〃My boy； this is your father； my brother； whom we mourned as dead。
He has come for you。〃
My father added： 〃I am glad that my son is strong and brave。 Your
brothers have adopted the white man's way； I came for you to learn this
new way； too； and I want you to grow up a good man。〃
He had brought me some civilized clothing； At first； I disliked very
much to wear garments made by the people I had hated so bitterly。 But
the thought that； after all； they had not killed my father and brothers；
reconciled me； and I put on the clothes。
In a few days we started for the States。 I felt as if I were dead and
traveling to the Spirit Land； for now all my old ideas were to give place to
new ones； and my life was to be entirely different from that of the past。
Still； I was eager to see some of the wonderful inventions of the white
people。 When we reached Fort Totten； I gazed about me with live… ly
interest and a quick imagination。
My father had forgotten to tell me that the fire…boat…walks…on…
mountains had its track at James… town； and might appear at any moment。
As I was watering the ponies； a peculiar shrilling noise pealed forth from
just beyond the hills。 The ponies threw back their heads and listened；
then they ran snorting over the prairie。 Mean…
First Impressions of Civilization 289
while； I too had taken alarm。 I leaped on the back of one of the
ponies； and dashed off at full speed。 It was a clear day； I could not
imagine what had caused such an unearthly noise。 It seemed as if the
world were about to burst in two！
I got upon a hill as the train appeared。 〃O！〃 I said to myself； 〃that is
the fire…boat…walks… on…mountains that I have heard about！〃 Then I drove
back the ponies。
My father was accustomed every morning to read from his Bible； and
sing a stanza of a hymn。 I was about very early with my gun for several
mornings； but at last he stopped me as I was preparing to go out； and bade
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me wait。
I listened with much astonishment。 The hymn contained the word
Jesus。 I did not comprehend what this meant； and my father then told me
that Jesus was the Son of God who came on earth to save sinners； and that
it was because of him that he had sought me。 This conversation made a
deep impression upon my mind。
Late in the fall we reached the citizen settle… ment at Flandreau； South
Dakota； where my father and some others dwelt among the whites。