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young again in the midst of joys and sorrows； alike sweet and sad； alike
sacred and fondly remembered。
If I tell a tale out of school； will any harm come to my old school…girl？
Once； a lady gave her a half…sovereign； which was a source of great pain
and anxiety to Goody Twoshoes。 She sewed it away in her old stays
somewhere； thinking here at least was a safe investment （vestis a vest
an investment； pardon me； thou poor old thing； but I cannot help the
pleasantry）。 And what do you think？ Another pensionnaire of the
establishment cut the coin out of Goody's stays an old woman who went
upon two crutches！ Faugh； the old witch！ What？ Violence amongst
these toothless； tottering； trembling； feeble ones？ Robbery amongst the
penniless？ Dogs coming and snatching Lazarus's crumbs out of his lap？
Ah； how indignant Goody was as she told the story！ To that pond at
Potsdam where the carps live for hundreds of hundreds of years； with
hunches of blue mould on their back； I daresay the little Prince and
Princess of Preussen…Britannien come sometimes with crumbs and cakes
to feed the mouldy ones。 Those eyes may have goggled from beneath the
weeds at Napoleon's jack…boots： they have seen Frederick's lean shanks
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reflected in their pool； and perhaps Monsieur de Voltaire has fed them；
and now for a crumb of biscuit they will fight； push； hustle； rob； squabble；
gobble； relapsing into their tranquillity when the ignoble struggle is over。
Sans souci； indeed！ It is mighty well writing 〃Sans souci〃 over the gate；
but where is the gate through which Care has not slipped？ She perches
on the shoulders of the sentry in the sentry…box： she whispers the porter
sleeping in his arm…chair： she glides up the staircase； and lies down
between the king and queen in their bed…royal： this very night I daresay
she will perch upon poor old Goody Twoshoes' meagre bolster； and
whisper； 〃Will the gentleman and those ladies ask me again！ No； no；
they will forget poor old Twoshoes。〃 Goody！ For shame of yourself！
Do not be cynical。 Do not mistrust your fellow…creatures。 What？ Has
the Christmas morning dawned upon thee ninety times？ For four…score
and ten years has it been thy lot to totter on this earth； hungry and obscure？
Peace and goodwill to thee； let us say at this Christmas season。 Come；
drink； eat； rest awhile at our hearth； thou poor old pilgrim！ And of the
bread which God's bounty gives us； I pray； brother reader； we may not
forget to set aside a part for those noble and silent poor； from whose
innocent hands war has torn the means of labour。 Enough！ As I hope
for beef at Christmas； I vow a note shall be sent to Saint Lazarus Union
House； in which Mr Roundabout requests the honour of Mrs Twoshoes'
company on Friday； 26th December。
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DE JUVENTUTE
We who lived before railways； and survive out of the ancient world；
are like Father Noah and his family out of the Ark。 The children will
gather round and say to us patriarchs； 〃Tell us； grandpapa； about the old
world。〃 And we shall mumble our old stories； and we shall drop off
one by one； and there will be fewer and fewer of us； and these very old
and feeble。 There will be but ten prae…railroadites left： then three
then two then one then 0！ If the hippopotamus had the least
sensibility （of which I cannot trace any signs either in his hide or his face）；
I think he would go down to the bottom of his tank； and never come up
again。 Does he not see that he belongs to bygone ages； and that his great
hulking barrel of a body is out of place in these times？ What has he in
common with the brisk young life surrounding him？ In the watches of
the night； when the keepers are asleep； when the birds are on one leg；
when even the little armadillo is quiet； and the monkeys have ceased their
chatter； he I mean the hippopotamus and the elephant； and the long…
necked giraffe； perhaps may lay their heads together and have a colloquy
about the great silent antediluvian world which they remember； where
mighty monsters floundered through the ooze； crocodiles basked on the
banks； and dragons darted out of the caves and waters before men were
made to slay them。 We who lived before railways are antediluvians we
must pass away。 We are growing scarcer every day； and old old
very old relicts of the times when George was still fighting the Dragon。
Not long since； a company of horseriders paid a visit to our watering…
place。 We went to see them； and I bethought me that young Walter
Juvenis； who was in the place； might like also to witness the performance。
A pantomime is not always amusing to persons who have attained a
certain age； but a boy at a pantomime is always amused and amusing；
and to see his pleasure is good for most hypochondriacs。
We sent to Walter's mother； requesting that he might join us； and the
kind lady replied that the boy had already been at the morning
performance of the equestrians； but was most eager to go in the evening
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likewise。 And go he did； and laughed at all Mr Merryman's remarks；
though he remembered them with remarkable accuracy； and insisted upon
waiting to the very end of the fun； and was only induced to retire just
before its conclusion by representations that the ladies of the party would
be incommoded if they were to wait and undergo the rush and trample of
the crowd round about。 When this fact was pointed out to him； he
yielded at once； though with a heavy heart； his eyes looking longingly
towards the ring as we retreated out of the booth。 We were scarcely clear
of the place； when we heard 〃God save the Queen；〃 played by the
equestrian band； the signal that all was over。 Our companion entertained
us with scraps of the dialogue on our way home precious crumbs of wit
which he had brought away from that feast。 He laughed over them again
as he walked under the stars。 He has them now； and takes them out of the
pocket of his memory； and crunches a bit； and relishes it with a
sentimental tenderness； too； for he is； no doubt； back at school by this time；
the holidays are over； and Doctor Birch's young friends have
reassembled。
Queer jokes； which caused a thousand simple mouths to grin！ As the
jaded Merryman uttered them to the old gentleman with the whip； some of
the old folks in the audience； I daresay； indulged in reflections of their
own。 There