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jaded Merryman uttered them to the old gentleman with the whip； some of
the old folks in the audience； I daresay； indulged in reflections of their
own。 There was one joke I utterly forget it but it began with
Merryman saying what he had for dinner。 He had mutton for dinner； at
one o'clock； after which 〃he had to come to business。〃 And then came
the point。 Walter Juvenis； Esq。； Rev。 Doctor Birch's； Market Rodborough；
if you read this； will you please send me a line； and let me know what was
the joke Mr Merryman made about having his dinner？ You remember
well enough。 But do I want to know？ Suppose a boy takes a favourite；
long…cherished lump of cake out of his pocket； and offers you a bit？
Merci！ The fact is； I don't care much about knowing that joke of Mr
Merryman's。
But whilst he was talking about his dinner； and his mutton； and his
landlord； and his business； I felt a great interest about Mr M。 in private life
about his wife； lodgings； earnings； and general history； and I daresay
was forming a picture of those in my mind： wife cooking the mutton；
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children waiting for it； Merryman in his plain clothes； and so forth；
during which contemplation the joke was uttered and laughed at； and Mr
M。； resuming his professional duties； was tumbling over head and heels。
Do not suppose I am going； sicut est mos； to indulge in moralities about
buffoons； paint； motley； and mountebanking。 Nay； Prime Ministers
rehearse their jokes； Opposition leaders prepare and polish them：
Tabernacle preachers must arrange them in their minds before they utter
them。 All I mean is； that I would like to know any one of these
performers thoroughly； and out of his uniform： that preacher； and why in
his travels this and that point struck him； wherein lies his power of
pathos； humour； eloquence； that Minister of State； and what moves
him； and how his private heart is working； I would only say that； at a
certain time of life certain things cease to interest： but about some things
when we cease to care； what will be the use of life； sight； hearing？
Poems are written； and we cease to admire。 Lady Jones invites us； and
we yawn； she ceases to invite us； and we are resigned。 The last time I
saw a ballet at the opera oh！ it is many years ago I fell asleep in the
stalls； wagging my head in insane dreams； and I hope affording
amusement to the company； while the feet of five hundred nymphs were
cutting flicflacs on the stage at a few paces distant。 Ah； I remember a
different state of things！ Credite posteri。 To see these nymphs
gracious powers； how beautiful they were！ That leering； painted；
shrivelled； thin…armed； thick…ankled old thing； cutting dreary capers；
coming thumping down on her board out of time that an opera…dancer？
Pooh！ My dear Walter； the great difference between my time and yours；
who will enter life some two or three years hence； is that； now； the dancing
women and singing women are ludicrously old； out of time； and out of
tune； the paint is so visible； and the dinge and wrinkles of their wretched
old cotton stockings； that I am surprised how anybody can like to look at
them。 And as for laughing at me for falling asleep； I can't understand a
man of sense doing otherwise。 In my time； a la bonne heure。 In the
reign of George IV。； I give you my honour； all the dancers at the opera
were as beautiful as Houris。 Even in William IV。's time； when I think of
Duvernay prancing in as the Bayadere； I say it was a vision of loveliness
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such as mortal eyes can't see nowadays。 How well I remember the tune
to which she used to appear！ Kaled used to say to the Sultan； 〃My lord； a
troop of those dancing and singing gurls called Bayaderes approaches；〃
and； to the clash of cymbals； and the thumping of my heart； in she used to
dance！ There has never been anything like it never。 There never will
be I laugh to scorn old people who tell me about your Noblet； your
Montessu； your Vistris； your Parisot pshaw； the senile twaddlers！ And
the impudence of the young men； with their music and their dancers of to…
day！ I tell you the women are dreary old creatures。 I tell you one air in
an opera is just like another； and they send all rational creatures to sleep。
Ah； Ronzi de Begnis； thou lovely one！ Ah； Caradori； thou smiling angel！
Ah； Malibran！ Nay； I will come to modern times； and acknowledge that
Lablache was a very good singer thirty years ago （though Porto was the
boy for me）： and they we had Ambrogetti； and Curioni； and Donzelli； a
rising young singer。
But what is most certain and lamentable is the decay of stage beauty
since the days of George IV。 Think of Sontag！ I remember her in
Otello and the Donna del Lago in ‘28。 I remember being behind the
scenes at the opera （where numbers of us young fellows of fashion used to
go）； and seeing Sontag let her hair fall down over her shoulders previous
to her murder by Donzelli。 Young fellows have never seen beauty like
that； heard such a voice； seen such hair； such eyes。 Don't tell me！ A
man who has been about town since the reign of George IV。； ought he not
to know better than you young lads who have seen nothing？ The
deterioration of women is lamentable； and the conceit of the young
fellows more lamentable still； that they won't see this fact； but persist in
thinking their time as good as ours。
Bless me！ when I was a lad； the stage was covered with angels； who
sang； acted； and danced。 When I remember the Adelphi； and the
actresses there： when I think of Miss Chester； and Miss Love； and Mrs
Serle at Sadler's Wells； and her forty glorious pupils of the Opera and
Noblet； and the exquisite young Taglioni； and Pauline Leroux； and a host
more！ One much…admired being of those days I confess I never cared for；
and that was the chief male dancer a very important personage then；
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with a bare neck； bare arms； a tunic； and a hat and feathers； who used to
divide the applause with the ladies； and who has now sunk down a trap…
door for ever。 And this frank admission ought to show that I am not your
mere twaddling laudator temporis acti your old fogey who can see no
good except in his own time。
They say that claret is better nowadays； and cookery much improved
since the days of my monarch of George IV。 Pastry Cookery is
certainly not so good。 I have often eaten half…a… crown's worth （including；
I trust； ginger…beer） at our school