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symposium-第13章

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will begin at once; said Alcibiades; and if I say anything which is not true; you may interrupt me if you will; and say 〃that is a lie;〃 though my intention is to speak the truth。 But you must not wonder if I speak any how as things come into my mind; for the fluent and orderly enumeration of all your singularities is not a task which is easy to a man in my condition。   And now; my boys; I shall praise Socrates in a figure which will appear to him to be a caricature; and yet I speak; not to make fun of him; but only for the truth's sake。 I say; that he is exactly like the busts of Silenus; which are set up in the statuaries; shops; holding pipes and flutes in their mouths; and they are made to open in the middle; and have images of gods inside them。 I say also that hit is like Marsyas the satyr。 You yourself will not deny; Socrates; that your face is like that of a satyr。 Aye; and there is a resemblance in other points too。 For example; you are a bully; as I can prove by witnesses; if you will not confess。 And are you not a flute…player? That you are; and a performer far more wonderful than Marsyas。 He indeed with instruments used to charm the souls of men by the powers of his breath; and the players of his music do so still: for the melodies of Olympus are derived from Marsyas who taught them; and these; whether they are played by a great master or by a miserable flute…girl; have a power which no others have; they alone possess the soul and reveal the wants of those who have need of gods and mysteries; because they are divine。 But you produce the same effect with your words only; and do not require the flute; that is the difference between you and him。 When we hear any other speaker; even very good one; he produces absolutely no effect upon us; or not much; whereas the mere fragments of you and your words; even at second…hand; and however imperfectly repeated; amaze and possess the souls of every man; woman; and child who comes within hearing of them。 And if I were not; afraid that you would think me hopelessly drunk; I would have sworn as well as spoken to the influence which they have always had and still have over me。 For my heart leaps within me more than that of any Corybantian reveller; and my eyes rain tears when I hear them。 And I observe that many others are affected in the same manner。 I have heard Pericles and other great orators; and I thought that they spoke well; but I never had any similar feeling; my soul was not stirred by them; nor was I angry at the thought of my own slavish state。 But this Marsyas has often brought me to such pass; that I have felt as if I could hardly endure the life which I am leading (this; Socrates; you will admit); and I am conscious that if I did not shut my ears against him; and fly as from the voice of the siren; my fate would be like that of others;…he would transfix me; and I should grow old sitting at his feet。 For he makes me confess that I ought not to live as I do; neglecting the wants of my own soul; and busying myself with the concerns of the Athenians; therefore I hold my ears and tear myself away from him。 And he is the only person who ever made me ashamed; which you might think not to be in my nature; and there is no one else who does the same。 For I know that I cannot answer him or say that I ought not to do as he bids; but when I leave his presence the love of popularity gets the better of me。 And therefore I run away and fly from him; and when I see him I am ashamed of what I have confessed to him。 Many a time have I wished that he were dead; and yet I know that I should be much more sorry than glad; if he were to die: so that am at my wit's end。   And this is what I and many others have suffered; from the flute…playing of this satyr。 Yet hear me once more while I show you how exact the image is; and。 how marvellous his power。 For let me tell you; none of you know him; but I will reveal him to you; having begun; I must go on。 See you how fond he is of the fair? He is always with them and is always being smitten by them; and then again he knows nothing and is ignorant of all thing such is the appearance which he puts on。 Is he not like a Silenus in this? To be sure he is: his outer mask is the carved head of the Silenus; but; O my companions in drink; when he is opened; what temperance there is residing within! Know you that beauty and wealth and honour; at which the many wonder; are of no account with him; and are utterly despised by him: he regards not at all the persons who are gifted with them; mankind are nothing to him; all his life is spent in mocking and flouting at them。 But when I opened him; and looked within at his serious purpose; I saw in him divine and golden images of such fascinating beauty that I was ready to do in a moment whatever Socrates commanded: they may have escaped the observation of others; but I saw them。 Now I fancied that he was seriously enamoured of my beauty; and I thought that I should therefore have a grand opportunity of hearing him tell what he knew; for I had a wonderful opinion of the attractions of my youth。 In the prosecution of this design; when I next went to him; I sent away the attendant who usually accompanied me (I will confess the whole truth; and beg you to listen; and if I speak falsely; do you; Socrates; expose the falsehood)。 Well; he and I were alone together; and I thought that when there was nobody with us; I should hear him speak the language which lovers use to their loves when they are by themselves; and I was delighted。 Nothing of the sort; he conversed as usual; and spent the day with me and then went away。 Afterwards I challenged him to the palaestra; and he wrestled and closed with me; several times when there was no one present; I fancied that I might succeed in this manner。 Not a bit; I made no way with him。 Lastly; as I had failed hitherto; I thought that I must take stronger measures and attack him boldly; and; as I had begun; not give him up; but see how matters stood between him and me。 So I invited him to sup with me; just as if he were a fair youth; and I a designing lover。 He was not easily persuaded to come; he did; however; after a while accept the invitation; and when he came the first time; he wanted to go away at once as soon as supper was over; and I had not the face to detain him。 The second time; still in pursuance of my design; after we had supped; I went on conversing far into the night; and when he wanted to go away; I pretended that the hour was late and that he had much better remain。 So he lay down on the couch next to me; the same on which he had supped; and there was no one but ourselves sleeping in the apartment。 All this may be told without shame to any one。 But what follows I could hardly tell you if I were sober。 Yet as the proverb says; 〃In vino veritas;〃 whether with boys; or without them; and therefore I must speak。 Nor; again; should I be justified in concealing the lofty actions of Socrates when I come to praise him。 Moreover I have felt the serpent's sting; and he who has suffered; as they say; is willing to tell his fellow…sufferers only; as they alone will be likely to understand him; and will not be extreme in judging of the sayings or doings which have been wrung from his agony。 For I have been bitten by a more than viper's tooth; I have known in my soul; or in my heart; or in some other part; that worst of pangs; more violent in ingenuous youth than any serpent's tooth; the pang of philosophy; which will make a man say or do anything。 And you whom I see around me; Phaedrus and Agathon and Eryximachus and Pausanias and Aristodemus and Aristophanes; all of you; and I need not say Socrates himself; have had experience of the same madness and passion in your longing after wisdom。 Therefore listen and excuse my doings then and my sayings now。 But let the attendants and other profane and unmannered persons close up the doors of their ears。   When the lamp was put out and the servants had gone away; I thought that I must be plain with him and have no more ambiguity。 So I gave him a shake; and I said: 〃Socrates; are you asleep?〃 〃No;〃 he said。 〃Do you know what I am meditating? 〃What are you meditating?〃 he said。 〃I think;〃 I replied; 〃that of all the lovers whom I have ever had you 
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