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For you would smell vilely of mint if he kissed you。 But he was
born before the decree was carried； so that you have not to fear his
kiss。
BLEPYRUS
It would be awful。 But who will till the soil？
PRAXAGORA
The slaves。 Your only cares will be to scent yourself； and to go
and dine； when the shadow of the gnomon is ten feet long on the dial。
BLEPYRUS
But how shall we obtain clothing？ Tell me that！
PRAXAGORA
You will first wear out those you have； and then we women will
weave you others。
BLEPYRUS
Now another point： if the magistrates condemn a citizen to the
payment of a fine； how is he going to do it？ Out of the public
funds？ That would not be right surely。
PRAXAGORA
But there will be no more lawsuits。
BLEPYRUS
This rule will ruin you。
CHREMES
I think so too。
PRAXAGORA
Besides； my dear； why should there be lawsuits？
BLEPYRUS
Oh！ for a thousand reasons； on my faith！ Firstly； because a debtor
denies his obligation。
PRAXAGORA
But where will the lender get the money to lend； if all is in
common？ unless he steals it out of the treasury？ and he could not hide
that！
CHREMES
Well thought out； by Demeter！
BLEPYRUS
But tell me this： here are some men who are returning from a feast
and are drunk and they strike some passer…by； how are they going to
pay the fine？ Ah！ you are puzzled now！
PRAXAGORA
They will have to take it out of their pittance； and being thus
punished through their belly； they will not care to begin again。
BLEPYRUS
There will be no more thieves then； eh？
PRAXAGORA
Why steal； if you have a share of everything？
BLEPYRUS
People will not be robbed any more at night？
CHREMES
Not if you sleep at home。
PRAXAGORA
Even if you sleep outdoors there will be no more danger； for all
will have the means of living。 Besides； if anyone wanted to steal your
cloak； you would give it to him yourself。 Why not？ You will only
have to go to the common store and be given a better one。
BLEPYRUS
There will be no more playing at dice？
PRAXAGORA
What object will there be in playing？
BLEPYRUS
But what kind of life is it you propose to set up？
PRAXAGORA
The life in common。 Athens will become nothing more than a
single house； in which everything will belong to everyone； so that
everybody will be able to go from one house to the other at pleasure。
BLEPYRUS
And where will the meals be served？
PRAXAGORA
The law…courts and the porticoes will be turned into dining…halls。
BLEPYRUS
And what will the speaker's platform be used for？
PRAXAGORA
I shall place the bowls and the ewers there； and young children
will sing the glory of the brave from there； also the infamy of
cowards； who out of very shame will no longer dare to come to the
public meals。
BLEPYRUS
Well thought out； by Apollo！ And what will you do with the urns？
PRAXAGORA
I shall have them taken to the market…place； and standing close to
the statue of Harmodius； I shall draw a lot for each citizen； which by
its letter will show the place where he must go to dine。 Thus； those
for whom I have drawn an R will go to the royal portico； if it's a
T； they will go to the portico of Theseus； if it's an F； to that of
the flour…market。
BLEPYRUS
To cram himself there like a capon？
PRAXAGORA
No； to dine there。
BLEPYRUS
And the citizen whom the lot has not given a letter showing
where he is to dine will be driven off by everyone？
PRAXAGORA （with great solemnity）
But that will not occur。 Each man will have plenty； he will not
leave the feast until he is well drunk； and then with a chaplet on his
head and a torch in his hand； and then the women running to meet you
in the crossroads will say； 〃This way； come to our house； you will
find a beautiful young girl there。〃…〃And I；〃 another will call from
her balcony； 〃have one so pretty and as white as milk； but before
touching her； you must sleep with me。〃 And the ugly men； watching
closely after the handsome fellows； will say； 〃Hi！ friend； where are
you running to？ Go in； but you must do nothing； it's the ugly and
the flat…nosed to whom the law gives the right to make love first；
amuse yourself on the porch while you wait； in handling your
fig…leaves and playing with yourself。〃 Well； tell me； does that
picture suit you？
BLEPYRUS AND CHREMES
Marvellously well。
PRAXAGORA
I must now go to the market…place to receive the property that
is going to be placed in common and to choose a woman with a loud
voice as my herald。 I have all the cares of state on my shoulders；
since the power has been entrusted to me。 I must likewise go to busy
myself about establishing the common meals； and you will attend your
first banquet to…day。
BLEPYRUS
Are we going to banquet？
PRAXAGORA
Why； undoubtedly！ Furthermore； I propose abolishing the whores。
BLEPYRUS
And what for？
PRAXAGORA
It's clear enough why； so that； instead of them； we may have the
first…fruits of the young men。 It is not meet that tricked…out
slaves should rob free…born women of their pleasures。 Let the
courtesans be free to sleep with the slaves。
BLEPYRUS
I will march at your side； so that I may be seen and that everyone
may say； 〃Look at the Dictator's husband！〃
（He follows PRAXAGORA into their house。）
CHREMES
As for me； I shall arrange my belongings and take inventory of
them； in order that I may take them to the market…place。
（He departs。）
（There is an interlude of dancing by the CHORUS； after which
CHREMES returns with his belongings and arranges them in a long
line。）
CHREMES
Come hither； my beautiful sieve； I have nothing more precious than
you； come； all clotted with the flour of which I have poured so many
sacks through you； you shall act the part of Canephorus in the
procession of my chattels。 Where is the sunshade carrier？ Ah！ this
stew…pot shall take his place。 Great gods； how black it is！ it could
not be more so if Lysicrates had boiled the drugs in it with which
be dyes his hair。 Hither； my beautiful mirror。 And you； my tripod；
bear this urn for me； you shall be the water…bearer； and you； cock；
whose morning song has so often roused me in the middle of the night
to send me hurrying to the Assembly； you shall be my flute…girl。
Scaphephorus； do you take the large basin； place in it the
honeycombs and twine the olive…branches over them； bring the tripods
and the phial of perfume； as for the humble crowd of little pots； I
will just leave them behind。
CITIZEN （watching CHREMES from a distance）
What folly to carry one's goods to the common store； I have a
little more sense than that。 No； no； by Posidon； I want first to
ponder and calculate over the thing at leisure。 I shall not be fool
enough to strip myself of the fruits of my toil and thrift； if it is
not for a very good reason； let us see first which way things turn。
（He walks over to CHREMES） Hi！ friend； what means this display of
goods？ Are you moving or are you going to pawn your stuff？
CHREMES
Neither。
CITIZEN
Why then are you setting all these things out in line？ Is it a
procession that you are starting off to Hiero； the public crier？
CHREMES
No； but in accordance with the new law that has been decreed； I am
going to carry all these things to the market…place to make a gift
of them to the state。
CITIZEN
Oh！ bah！ you don't mean that。
CHREMES
Certainly。
CITIZEN
Oh！ Zeus the Deliverer！ you unfortunate man！
CHREMES
Why？
CITIZEN
Why？ It's as clear as noonday。
CHREMES
Must the laws not be obeyed then？
CITIZEN
What laws； you poor fellow？